Love them like Jesus

Here in the dorm, we have a night time CD we play to help the girls go to sleep. (There is also a morning one that is kind of like an alarm clock.) One of the songs is "Love them Like Jesus" by Casting Crowns. As I listened to this song the other night, I couldn't help but think of how it relates to me. I mean, how am I to love these girls like Jesus. Obviously I know this is impossible to do fully, but what does it look like for me to try? What does love look like when they are being mean and disrespectful? What does love look like when they are listening well? What about when they disobey? What does disciplining in love look like? When I am tired, how do I show them I love them? When they are still talking an hour after light out, what does love look like?

Here is the chorus to the song:

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

The point of the song is to point people to Jesus in their tough times, and really has little to do with all of my thoughts. But as I struggle to figure out how to love and mother, and at the same time, teach them the right way and discipline them, I wonder what it looks like in God's eyes. Essentially, I am a parent to 12 girls (a slightly overwhelming thought at 23). And as I feel my way around, I constantly need to seek God's wisdom and guidance.

10 Lessons from my summer

I'm a little slow at processing, but better late than never, here are the main lessons of my summer at Miracle Ranch.

1. When everything is set up to go well, be prepared for a surprise. Just because it seems all ready does not mean it will go as planned. You can't plan life, it just doesn't work that way.

2. A team always works better than a staff. Knowing each other, being honest with one another and open communication means great things get done well. Thank you to the leadership team (Darin, Josh, Tori, Karlee, KV, Bruce, and James- you guys made my summer manageable and fun! I miss you all!)

3. The entire staff, and especially all the counselors, were some of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege to work with. I am in awe of you.

4. It's possible to feel as though everything on the outside is perfect, yet feel like the world has come crashing down on you. It's hard to understand when things are going so well yet you feel like life is falling apart.

5. It's hard to be told you're strong, solid and tough when you really just want to curl up in a
corner and cry.

6. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you cannot stop the tears from falling. Occasionally, you just fall apart.

7. God is faithful,, even when all we do is show up. All He asks for is ourselves.

8. The world sucks, and sometimes there is nothing you can do to change it. But believing God is bigger than it all means you can get up the next day and keep going. (Having to reporting suspected child abuse sucks.)

9. Late night youtube videos make the world a better place (or at least keep the leadership staff sane.)

10. God changes lives. He calls people (even children) and they answer Him. 110 children who came through Miracle Ranch excepted Christ for the first time, and 106 more rededicated their life to him. God is good.

Some days...

Have you ever had one of those nights? I was thinking earlier today that I would update this blog tonight after the girls were in bed. I was thinking about some cool things to share, positive stories to relate, and a few funny things too. Then tonight happened. Actually, it was really just the last hour and a half. An hour and a half, and I can think of few positive things to say anymore. I will get to them though, because I am determined that not all will  be negative!

When working with these kids, you get used to a lot of back talk, a lot of disrespect, and a few rude names thrown in your direction. Usually, it doesn't bother me much, but tonight it went a little crazy. To simplify, 5 of our girls went to go run laps at 8:30 at night because they chose to be defiant. Hopefully the message got through, because I could use some sleep tonight. It's really hard sometimes to feel like you get through to anyone. These kids have some of the most amazing mood swings. One minute they are fine, the next the world is out to get them, and you have ruined their life. I greatly admire parents, now more than ever.

Enough of the tough stuff, because that will always be there. Here are a few random things in the last few days that encourage me (or at least keep me from crying most of the time!)

• I'm teaching these kids dum dum ditty. Oh yes, dum dum ditty. If you have never worked at camp, you may have no idea what I am talking about, but if you have you know. Basically it's a simple song with different hand motions/clapping rhythms. They get it, and keep asking to do it again. :)
• I  introduced the shaking out the prayer hands. I know many hate this tradition, but I now know why we do it. It gets everyone focused and quite, at least to start prayer time. (Nearly impossible for everyone to stay that way but they start out on the right note)
• www.freerice.com Best invention ever! Mardell, the administrator, mentioned that vocab is a big things these kids all need to work on, and I remembered this website that quizzes you on vocab. Not only does it make it a game, but they also donate 10 grains of rice for every correct answer, so it's supporting a good cause. It's free too, and has other subjects (including multiplication tables, which are also a struggle).

Well on that note, the CD is wrapping up (one more song), so I am off to bed soon. The other day I came across a verse that helped me keep my perspective. 2 Chronicles 20:15 b says "This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s." While we may fight in the battle, it's God's battle not our own. We simply do our best, and that is all. God is the one who wins it for us. He never asks for more that we can give, and he will never leave us along. God never lets us go, whether through the calm or the storm. I find great peace in that, even as I hear the voices of girls who were supposed to go to bed nearly an hour and a half ago. Because the battle is God's, and he is victorious.