This Christmas

Today was hard. As I attempt to connect my family, all 5 of us, currently in 4 different states, I realize just how hard some days are. I’m planning Christmas dinner, knowing that if I don’t plan it now, I’ll forget, and won’t have time 2 days before Christmas when I finally get home to make it all come together. I talk to my mother and hear the frustration in her voice as she struggles for words, and the knowledge in her voice that what was her job is something she can no longer do. I hear the stress in my father’s voice as he tries to hold pieces together thousands of miles away. I hear my sister in the background, sick with a cold, and dealing with a job that ends in a week, her future unknown. And here I sit, juggling the balls to make this Christmas season something to celebrate for my students, hoping that somehow they will grasp the true meaning in the middle of the madness.

Some days, it all feels like too much. Some days, I feel as though I’m failing my family. Some days I want it all to go away, and life to be easy. But easy is not here. Jesus’ birth, which which we celebrate this season, was not easy. His young mother gave birth in a stable. Not in a hospital, not with a midwife, but in a stable. And his life does not get easier as it continues. From the beginning, someone is out to kill him. His life is full of people who doubt him, full of people who have no need for him, and full of people who want to kill him.

My life, as tough as I might think it is some days, is nothing like that. I am surrounded by people who love me and pray for me. I’m surrounded by community. My family, in all their different locations, is all surrounded by people who support us, help us, pray for us and love us. No one is out to kill us. We have the hope, peace, joy and love of Christ. We have so much more than so many around the world. And in less than a week, we will all be together again, celebrating the birth of a Savior, who gives us life. May God grant you the hope of Him this season, surrounding you with His peace, filling you with His joy, and enveloping you in His love.

I'm Back!

Here I am again, only a few months delayed. Life happens, and in the middle of it all, I somehow lost track of this blog thing. But here I am, back again. Ready for a new start, I think. Life has gone through many changes for me since I last wrote, and while I gave thought to updating, some things are hard to put into words. The really short story is my mom was diagnosed with stage IV Melanoma. She’s currently in chemo having gone through brain surgery and radiation. We’re hopeful for the meds she on.

For now though, I’m back at SVIS. I am currently teaching a 4^th and 5^th class, and spent the first five weeks of school living in the younger girl’s dorm. With 12 students in two grades, and 14 in the dorm, my life is more than a little crazy.

This is my nice calm looking classroom... I would like to note that this was taken after the custodians had cleaned for the day, and the students were not present. It rarely looks this pretty and calm!

I moved out of the dorm on Friday and am slowing learning to enjoy my free evening, quiet meals, and living with just one person, instead of 14 girls. After a year of living with the young ones, I’m so ready to not be responsible for making people shower every night, line up for meals on time, and keep the dorm clean. I will miss the crazy girls, but it’s not like I will never see them. (I do have 7 of them in my class!)

Note the difference between my classroom, and my desk. I like to claim it represents my chaotic life.

Note the left-over graham crackers from this morning’s snack and coffee cup to get me through the long afternoon of attempting to grade papers.

Last year, I was blessed with 3 lovely girls in my fifth grade class. This year, I have 8 fifth graders (2 boys, 6 girls), and 4 fourth graders (2 boys and 2 girls), meaning I have the largest class on campus. In fact, my fifth graders alone are bigger than most of the other classes here! That said, I love having a big group. They are always full of energy, and never fail to make me laugh at least once (or 20 times) a day. For a few days we even had a pet salamander, but since I was afraid it would starve to death, we let him go today. He was fun for a few days though!

I’m thankful to be here serving God. I know he has a calling for my life, and for now, its right here! God is faithful. This year our school theme is trust. Trusting God seems like a simple thing, although life proves it is anything but. As we walk life with our trust in God, my prayer is that these kids will see the hope that we have in Him. 

Snow Days!

Several weeks ago we woke up on a Sunday morning to SNOW! Now, the problem with boardiong schools is that there is no such thing as a snow day. Our whole staff and all the students live on campus, so even wehn we have snow, we still have school (although we start late to let the kids play for a while). However, this year, we only had a periodic sprinkling of snow, but it never really lasted. However, one beautiful Sunday morning, we actually had enough snow to play in. Luckily the girls way up pleanty early so we were able to go play outside before getting ready for church.

Throwing a few snowballs

Who needs to scrape snow when you have a dorm full of girls!

Despite the confused look, they really did have fun!

I love these girls!

So precious!

 

Now, I have to admit I am enjoying the beautiful spring weather. Although, wind has taken on a whole new meaning. Nothing like 30+ mph sustained winds! However, the sunshine is beautiful and I love that it's warming up!

I’m terrible at keeping this thing updated. Seriously, I always think I’m going to do better, but no. Yes, life is crazy, but I think it’s important to take time to reflect on it too. So let’s review the last month and a half.

A. Third quarter is done! Grades are done, and parent teacher conferences are Thursday. Hopefully I will have a chance to talk briefly to all the parents of my students! The girls did better this quarter academically and hopefully we continue to make progress this quarter. We’re starting fractions in math, so I’m praying that goes well.

B. On Friday I travelled to Phoenix with the 6th through 8^th graders to go to the Rock and Worship Roadshow. It was fun, although a late night. Watching the kids worship God in a huge crowd was awesome. There were moments when the bus drive home was not so fun (we got back at 3:15 AM), but it was a great experience. You can enjoy this little clip for fun.

C. I’m taking a love and logic class. I missed the training at the beginning of the year, so now we are doing a class for all the new people. My students get to take Navajo twice a week while I am gone, and so it works out well. I’m learning a lot, and attempting to work on applying it as I go. Love and Logic is a really cool program, and I really recommend it to teachers or parents, or pretty much anyone who works with kids. www.loveandlogic.com

D.  I am also taking a smart board training class. 3 hours on a Monday night is a little bit long, but I’m excited about all the things I’m learning. Clueless about smart boards? They are interactive white boards.  They can make learning a lot of fun, but take a bit of prep time, so hopefully as I learn how to use them better it will become easier. www.smarttech.com

E. In the dorm we are back up to 16 girls. We had reached 16 in January, then lost 2, and now have gain two who left at the beginning of October. It’s exciting to have them back, and fun to have a big dorm. The girls are doing fairly well, although periodic sickness plagues us all (ear infections, strep throat, etc.—lots of kids on different medicine at any given time).

F. Today was my first day of teaching music. As the 3^rd/4^th teacher just began teaching an elective for the last 30 minutes of the day, I now have her students. After trying to figure out what to do, it seems that music is one thing I can teach to all the students at the same time. Of course, I still need to figure out what exactly I am teaching them all. (We decided less than 3 hours before I had them exactly what to do, so now I need to do some major planning.) If you have any ideas, please let me know!

G. In February we had a 5 day weekend, which was lovely. I spent two days in Phoenix, which was a lot of fun (and included a lot of shopping!). I also drove through Sedona, which is gorgeous. It was a great relaxing few days, although I did spend 10 hours doing laundry one day to de-lice the dorm.

Spring is here (at least weather wise), and I’m enjoying the new challenges each day brings. Watching these kids grown and learn is such an awesome experience. Some days I wonder if any progress is being made, and other days I see amazing growth. No two days are the same, and I wouldn’t trade any of it. I love begin able to see God work, and know that at the end of the day, it is all in His hands, not mine.

My random thoughts on a Friday night

I want to share a few things, all of which address different passions in my life: education, faith, and kids, particular my students at SVIS.

First, a friend of mine posted this on facebook, and I loved it. It made me think, and made me really evaluate what I think about teaching and learning. That's not to say I agree with everything, or think it will solve the worlds problems, but something to think about. Besides, I think it presents the ideas in a new and different way that kept my attention- always a good thing! (Thanks Tori!)

Second, I have been thinking recently about what it means to be a woman of God. I'm pretty sure there is no box we all fit in, after all I know many women who love and follow God with their whole heart, and they are not all the same. They are all different, which leads me to believe that there is no one path we all must follow. (Not that this is news to anyone, but just has been in my thoughts recently.) But I'd love to hear your thoughts. What does it mean to be a woman of God? How do we as women live passionately for Jesus? What does it look like for you personally?

Third, I had a wonderful moment with one of my girls this week. There is a spot on the board that we right prayer requests. On Tuesday, one of my students asked to write one down. She asked for prayer for the teachers, dorm parents, and staff. Coming from a student who regularly tells me she hate me (which translates to I don't like what you are asking me to do right now) it was really cool to see an acknowledgement of the staff, and know she had a desire to pray for us. How cool is that!

Now, it's Friday night, and I have great ambitions to sleep in tomorrow... all the way till about 7:30 AM!!!! Let's hope the girls all sleep that long, and allow the tired dorm parents a little extra sleep. (I usually wake up about 6:15, so this really is sleeping in!)

A New Year!

I have these great intentions of blogging more often, but some how life gets in the way. The kids have been back a week now, and for the most part, we are back to normal. Of course, 'normal' doesn't really exist, so who knows what we are back to. We did get 6 new kids so far this semester: two 7th graders, and then a 6th, 4th, 3rd, and 2nd grader. This adds 4 new girls to the dorm, which is pretty exciting, bringing us up to 15 total. I'm torn between being sad there are no new 5th graders, and being relieved. I mean a new student would be fun, but a lot of work, and strangely, I don't really need any more of that. These three provide plenty of work themselves. :)

We also have already begun the lice fight this year. Amazing how quick that stuff takes over. Seriously, it never ends! Some day the bug will all be gone. On a cool note though, we got to look at a lice in a  microscope, which was great for the kids! Gross, but great. I mean, have you ever seen a lice in a microscope? That is one gross bug! Especially when you can see the blood in it that came out of someones head.
I'd like to leave you with these lyrics. A friend posted this song on her facebook, and I listened to it today with the kids. I love it, because it is so true. (And no, I am not in great suffering or anything, I just love the message of believing in God's hope, and taking Him at his word.)

Carry Me (written by Audrey Assad and Phillip Larue, sung by Audrey Assad)
Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but

You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe it

Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter 'cause we're all broken
We're all just trying to turn the shadows into light but

You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me

And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide

You say I am blessed because of this
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me

And You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, as I carry this cross
'Cause as I carry this cross, You'll carry me

You'll carry me, God
You'll carry me
And Your love is an ocean wide

ODAA and Christmas

About a year ago, I was serving as an intern in camping ministry. Trying to write a job description is fairly difficult for such a job, as it can and did include just about anything. Besides there is this addition at the end of such a job description that says, "other duties as assigned". There is a very similar clause at the end of my contract here at Sun Valley as well. It seems to be common in ministries. I think it's actually part of our job descriptions as Christians as well. We're called to love others, and all of that, but I feel there is this extra part at the end, which reads "whatever God calls you to do."

It's so easy to want to yell, "but that's not my job", whether at God or an employer. "I didn't sign up for this!" But as a Christian, as a servant of Christ, we are called to do what he want us to do. It's funny, I never set out to go into missions. Oh, I wasn't against it, but I never really felt like that was the purpose of my life. Strangely though, both jobs God has called me to since college have been in ministry and missions. God has put passions in my heart that have led me into ministry. I love it, but it's hard. Regardless of where I work or what I do though, God will always have that clause at the end of my job description. Ministry is not confined to specific jobs or organizations. It's a part of our life as Christians. Maybe it's teaching Sunday school, maybe volunteering at  homeless shelter. Maybe it's as simple as helping someone pick up something they dropped. I think ministry is not what we do, but how we live our lives.

This last week, we began to study Ruth, which is a book I love. The curriculum suggested we sign "It is well" and since it is one of my favorite songs, we did just that. One of the challenges in my life is to learn to be able to say that. Yesterday was a tough day. It was long day, and it was more than slightly stressful and frustrating. Yet, what do I truly have to complain about? Sure, the fact that I work with kids who can be incredibly disrespectful and defiant is not my favorite. And yes, it's been a long day, and I often end up exhausted every night (and all too often mornings as well). But what I am here for anyway? What is my perspective?

As Christmas time is almost here (yay!), I came across these lyrics again the other day. The song is familiar, but it's story add more meaning. It was written during the Civil War by Henry W. Longfellow. The despair in the third stanza is all too familiar, but the hope in the fourth we sometimes forget. God is not dead, and He does still give peace. In the end, God will win, right will prevail, and there will be peace on earth, even if it does not come till the end of the world.

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along th' unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:
'There is no peace on earth, ' I said
'For hate is strong, and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.'

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.'

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men.