My journey through life as I follow God's calling, where ever it might lead.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
ODAA and Christmas
It's so easy to want to yell, "but that's not my job", whether at God or an employer. "I didn't sign up for this!" But as a Christian, as a servant of Christ, we are called to do what he want us to do. It's funny, I never set out to go into missions. Oh, I wasn't against it, but I never really felt like that was the purpose of my life. Strangely though, both jobs God has called me to since college have been in ministry and missions. God has put passions in my heart that have led me into ministry. I love it, but it's hard. Regardless of where I work or what I do though, God will always have that clause at the end of my job description. Ministry is not confined to specific jobs or organizations. It's a part of our life as Christians. Maybe it's teaching Sunday school, maybe volunteering at homeless shelter. Maybe it's as simple as helping someone pick up something they dropped. I think ministry is not what we do, but how we live our lives.
This last week, we began to study Ruth, which is a book I love. The curriculum suggested we sign "It is well" and since it is one of my favorite songs, we did just that. One of the challenges in my life is to learn to be able to say that. Yesterday was a tough day. It was long day, and it was more than slightly stressful and frustrating. Yet, what do I truly have to complain about? Sure, the fact that I work with kids who can be incredibly disrespectful and defiant is not my favorite. And yes, it's been a long day, and I often end up exhausted every night (and all too often mornings as well). But what I am here for anyway? What is my perspective?
As Christmas time is almost here (yay!), I came across these lyrics again the other day. The song is familiar, but it's story add more meaning. It was written during the Civil War by Henry W. Longfellow. The despair in the third stanza is all too familiar, but the hope in the fourth we sometimes forget. God is not dead, and He does still give peace. In the end, God will win, right will prevail, and there will be peace on earth, even if it does not come till the end of the world.
I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along th' unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
And in despair I bowed my head:
'There is no peace on earth, ' I said
'For hate is strong, and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.'
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.'
Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Things to be thankful for.
I'm thankful that I know my God. The God who loves me no matter what happens, who listens to me ask the same questions, who holds me in his hands no matter what.
I'm thankful for friends, the ones I can call at any time, who love me and push me to seek Christ in new and different ways. I'm blessed to know so many people who challenge me to pursue Christ and walk that path with me.
I'm thankful for my grandma, who let me crash at her house countless times last year and continues to store a little bit of my stuff, for the open door she offered. I'm blessed to have family who love me and care for me.
I'm thankful for camp, because I know it has changed my life, and challenged me so much. I'm thankful for leaders who have pushed me. I'm thankful for being able to watch over 100 kids come to know Christ this summer. I'm thankful for the summers and year I spent at Miracle Ranch, and the summer at Arrowhead Lutheran Camp. I'm thankful for the staffs I have worked with and the amazing people I have met.
I'm thankful for Sun Valley Indian School, a place that was never on my radar, that I have come to call home. I'm blessed to work at such a place.
I am above all thankful for Jesus, who died on the cross for my sins that I might have a relationship with him. I all too often take for granted my relationship with Jesus, and forget that there was a big price tag attached to it.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
5th Grade- The Adventure Continues
It's strange, because I did not feel like teaching after I got my degree. In fact, even when I moved here 2 months ago, it was not my intention. Not that I would never teach, but for now, it was not where God was leading me. Well, two month later, and guess where He led me? Straight into a classroom.
So far, it's gone pretty good. I have three girls in my class, and no boys. All three girls are in the dorm too, so I know them already. They are a handful, but lots of fun too. Of course, it does depend on the moment. Some moments they love me, and others they hate me. (Nothing new there.) I am still also a dorm parent, but more of an assistant. I help out in the evenings some, and when I am available otherwise, but lesson planning and figuring out what I'm doing takes quite a bit of time.
God is faithful. He leads you to strange places, but he never leaves you there. I once heard that "the will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot keep you." It's true.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Love them like Jesus
Here is the chorus to the song:
Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
The point of the song is to point people to Jesus in their tough times, and really has little to do with all of my thoughts. But as I struggle to figure out how to love and mother, and at the same time, teach them the right way and discipline them, I wonder what it looks like in God's eyes. Essentially, I am a parent to 12 girls (a slightly overwhelming thought at 23). And as I feel my way around, I constantly need to seek God's wisdom and guidance.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
10 Lessons from my summer
1. When everything is set up to go well, be prepared for a surprise. Just because it seems all ready does not mean it will go as planned. You can't plan life, it just doesn't work that way.
2. A team always works better than a staff. Knowing each other, being honest with one another and open communication means great things get done well. Thank you to the leadership team (Darin, Josh, Tori, Karlee, KV, Bruce, and James- you guys made my summer manageable and fun! I miss you all!)
3. The entire staff, and especially all the counselors, were some of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege to work with. I am in awe of you.
4. It's possible to feel as though everything on the outside is perfect, yet feel like the world has come crashing down on you. It's hard to understand when things are going so well yet you feel like life is falling apart.
5. It's hard to be told you're strong, solid and tough when you really just want to curl up in a
corner and cry.
6. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you cannot stop the tears from falling. Occasionally, you just fall apart.
7. God is faithful,, even when all we do is show up. All He asks for is ourselves.
8. The world sucks, and sometimes there is nothing you can do to change it. But believing God is bigger than it all means you can get up the next day and keep going. (Having to reporting suspected child abuse sucks.)
9. Late night youtube videos make the world a better place (or at least keep the leadership staff sane.)
10. God changes lives. He calls people (even children) and they answer Him. 110 children who came through Miracle Ranch excepted Christ for the first time, and 106 more rededicated their life to him. God is good.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Some days...
When working with these kids, you get used to a lot of back talk, a lot of disrespect, and a few rude names thrown in your direction. Usually, it doesn't bother me much, but tonight it went a little crazy. To simplify, 5 of our girls went to go run laps at 8:30 at night because they chose to be defiant. Hopefully the message got through, because I could use some sleep tonight. It's really hard sometimes to feel like you get through to anyone. These kids have some of the most amazing mood swings. One minute they are fine, the next the world is out to get them, and you have ruined their life. I greatly admire parents, now more than ever.
Enough of the tough stuff, because that will always be there. Here are a few random things in the last few days that encourage me (or at least keep me from crying most of the time!)
- I'm teaching these kids dum dum ditty. Oh yes, dum dum ditty. If you have never worked at camp, you may have no idea what I am talking about, but if you have you know. Basically it's a simple song with different hand motions/clapping rhythms. They get it, and keep asking to do it again. :)
- I introduced the shaking out the prayer hands. I know many hate this tradition, but I now know why we do it. It gets everyone focused and quite, at least to start prayer time. (Nearly impossible for everyone to stay that way but they start out on the right note)
- www.freerice.com Best invention ever! Mardell, the administrator, mentioned that vocab is a big things these kids all need to work on, and I remembered this website that quizzes you on vocab. Not only does it make it a game, but they also donate 10 grains of rice for every correct answer, so it's supporting a good cause. It's free too, and has other subjects (including multiplication tables, which are also a struggle).
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Crumbs...
Its evenings like this that make it tough. Its days like this that I realize all I have to give these girls is crumbs, and I cling to the fact that God can do great things with my crumbs. Then of course, I have to remember the positive. Tonight I also saw some amazing things. One of the girls was just sitting across from me writing a verse 10 times as a result of being disrespectful while other girls were praying. We play a music CD as bedtime music filled with Christian music. This girl sang along with every song being played. Maybe she doesn't believe in God, but she is singing his praise. I pray those words imprint themselves on her brain so that she will remember them and recall them later in her life. There were hugs tonight too, despite the fact that they claim to hate us. In chapel today, we had a work and witness team (a group here doing a mission trip) and one of their young men sang a song for us. The song he sang was called "I will go" by Starfield. A few of the lyrics were:
I will go, I will go
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I'm clay within your hands
I will go, I will go, send me
One of the third graders sat there singing along with the words. It was so cool to see her agreeing in song, even if she had no idea what she was saying. I prayed with all three 2nd graders tonight. I love their simple prayers that dig straight to the core: Dear God, thank you for today, please help tomorrow go fast, helps us have no bad dreams, amen! I pray they do not leave their simple faith behind, but that it only grows as they get older.
God is working here, in big and small ways. In ways I cannot see, in ways I may never see. But he is here, whether I think I can feel him or not. I once heard a quote, "Be still and know that I am God, not be still and feel that I am God. Because our feelings go up and down and I do not want a God that goes up and down." This is so true. God is here and he is working no matter what I think or feel. He is in my life molding me whether I can feel it or not. And he is using my crumbs no matter how small they may be.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Another week, another challenge
This week, I am teaching 2nd grade. Upon my arrival here, I found out that I am the substitute teacher on call, and this week, our 2nd grade teacher is out due to a death in her family. This means that after about 16 months, I am back in a classroom! It was a lot of fun to teach today, and with only 2 students, it was pretty easy! I'm excited to be doing something a little different, although it does make my days a little longer.
I continue to learn more about the amazing God we serve as I stay here. Just tonight I was blessed by a Bible Study with the other young women here. It's a blessing to be able to spend a little bit of time together, getting to know each other, and learning how to be women of Christ. I'm so thankful I serve a God who knows my needs and never fails to meet them.
Monday, September 13, 2010
God's faithfulness
I think the key word there is "my". Because my world may have been falling apart, but the world is so much bigger than me. God's children struggle all the time, yet people are constantly making the choice to follow him. Just because my week was a struggle in no way affects what God can do. He is a whole lot bigger than me.
This week has started off with tough situations. We had two young boys decide to sneak out and run away last night. We are really close to a freeway, so this is incredibly dangerous. God's provision is amazing though, because someone driving by saw them on the side of the freeway, and called the sheriff who was able to pick them up before anything happened to them. Despite everything, God is our protector. I need to remember that when I get discouraged about the fact that they ran away, or that two of my girls got caught stealing, or the girl who's been crying constantly these last few days. My challenge is to think of what has God done, not what has gone wrong. So that's my question to you. What is God doing in your life? Where have you seen his hand at work?
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I'm here!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Moving Day 1
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Change is in the air...
I’m incredibly excited for this change, but more than a little apprehensive. Moving to a new place where I know no one is a little scary, although it seems to be a theme in my life (moving to college, then two different camps where I knew no one). I’m excited for this opportunity to learn about a different culture and do something a little different. This is a cool job that may eventually lead me back to teaching, but in the mean time it will be a fun adventure.
You may be wondering how in the world I found this place. The simple answer is God. You see, a few years ago an acquaintance of mine mentioned working at this school, and a few months later, I check out the website and booked marked it on my favorites thinking it looked interesting. I found it about 2 weeks ago when trying to not freak out about jobs, and decided to send an email to see if there were any openings. A day later I got an email back, only to learn that they had just had an opening come up the same week. Their school year begins in August, and they started the year with a full staff. The timing is all God, and it’s absolutely clear that he has led me to this school at this time.
That said, I’m moving to Arizona in about a week. (Insert panic attack here) I would appreciate your prayers through this process as I attempt to figure out the timing, sorting/packing and all the pesky details. I would also love to see people before I leave the area, so please let me know if that is possible!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13
Friday, August 20, 2010
Hey look! An Update!!!
That said, any job ideas for my life, please, please pass them on. :)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I may have lost my mind...
Bethany ponders... Random, but when I typed the word ponder it looked wrong. Don't you hate that? I mean, I start second guessing myself, and then I can't spell anything right... Sorry, I got distracted there for a second. So anyway, back to the purpose of this thing.... actually, I don't think there is a purpose. Today I spent over an hour looking for a chalkboard. I know, I'm not teaching, why would I need a chalkboard, right? But here at camp, many things become required. The chalkboard in this case is for our signs for the new coffee shop. Speaking of which, I officially made coffee in there today! You have to understand, after watching it be built all year (and getting my hands in there a few times), it's so nice to have it nearly done.
On other topics, summer is coming soon. For those of you who live in a cave, and have no idea what that means, I will officially have no life in just over a month. 18 hour days, meals on the run, and other craziness. Yes, oddly enough, I enjoy this. In fact, I'm looking forward to summer. I think I need therapy!
Oh, and if you thought our blogging was sparse before, get ready for even less! Peace out Brussel sprout!