This Christmas

Today was hard. As I attempt to connect my family, all 5 of us, currently in 4 different states, I realize just how hard some days are. I’m planning Christmas dinner, knowing that if I don’t plan it now, I’ll forget, and won’t have time 2 days before Christmas when I finally get home to make it all come together. I talk to my mother and hear the frustration in her voice as she struggles for words, and the knowledge in her voice that what was her job is something she can no longer do. I hear the stress in my father’s voice as he tries to hold pieces together thousands of miles away. I hear my sister in the background, sick with a cold, and dealing with a job that ends in a week, her future unknown. And here I sit, juggling the balls to make this Christmas season something to celebrate for my students, hoping that somehow they will grasp the true meaning in the middle of the madness.

Some days, it all feels like too much. Some days, I feel as though I’m failing my family. Some days I want it all to go away, and life to be easy. But easy is not here. Jesus’ birth, which which we celebrate this season, was not easy. His young mother gave birth in a stable. Not in a hospital, not with a midwife, but in a stable. And his life does not get easier as it continues. From the beginning, someone is out to kill him. His life is full of people who doubt him, full of people who have no need for him, and full of people who want to kill him.

My life, as tough as I might think it is some days, is nothing like that. I am surrounded by people who love me and pray for me. I’m surrounded by community. My family, in all their different locations, is all surrounded by people who support us, help us, pray for us and love us. No one is out to kill us. We have the hope, peace, joy and love of Christ. We have so much more than so many around the world. And in less than a week, we will all be together again, celebrating the birth of a Savior, who gives us life. May God grant you the hope of Him this season, surrounding you with His peace, filling you with His joy, and enveloping you in His love.

I'm Back!

Here I am again, only a few months delayed. Life happens, and in the middle of it all, I somehow lost track of this blog thing. But here I am, back again. Ready for a new start, I think. Life has gone through many changes for me since I last wrote, and while I gave thought to updating, some things are hard to put into words. The really short story is my mom was diagnosed with stage IV Melanoma. She’s currently in chemo having gone through brain surgery and radiation. We’re hopeful for the meds she on.

For now though, I’m back at SVIS. I am currently teaching a 4^th and 5^th class, and spent the first five weeks of school living in the younger girl’s dorm. With 12 students in two grades, and 14 in the dorm, my life is more than a little crazy.

This is my nice calm looking classroom... I would like to note that this was taken after the custodians had cleaned for the day, and the students were not present. It rarely looks this pretty and calm!

I moved out of the dorm on Friday and am slowing learning to enjoy my free evening, quiet meals, and living with just one person, instead of 14 girls. After a year of living with the young ones, I’m so ready to not be responsible for making people shower every night, line up for meals on time, and keep the dorm clean. I will miss the crazy girls, but it’s not like I will never see them. (I do have 7 of them in my class!)

Note the difference between my classroom, and my desk. I like to claim it represents my chaotic life.

Note the left-over graham crackers from this morning’s snack and coffee cup to get me through the long afternoon of attempting to grade papers.

Last year, I was blessed with 3 lovely girls in my fifth grade class. This year, I have 8 fifth graders (2 boys, 6 girls), and 4 fourth graders (2 boys and 2 girls), meaning I have the largest class on campus. In fact, my fifth graders alone are bigger than most of the other classes here! That said, I love having a big group. They are always full of energy, and never fail to make me laugh at least once (or 20 times) a day. For a few days we even had a pet salamander, but since I was afraid it would starve to death, we let him go today. He was fun for a few days though!

I’m thankful to be here serving God. I know he has a calling for my life, and for now, its right here! God is faithful. This year our school theme is trust. Trusting God seems like a simple thing, although life proves it is anything but. As we walk life with our trust in God, my prayer is that these kids will see the hope that we have in Him. 

Snow Days!

Several weeks ago we woke up on a Sunday morning to SNOW! Now, the problem with boardiong schools is that there is no such thing as a snow day. Our whole staff and all the students live on campus, so even wehn we have snow, we still have school (although we start late to let the kids play for a while). However, this year, we only had a periodic sprinkling of snow, but it never really lasted. However, one beautiful Sunday morning, we actually had enough snow to play in. Luckily the girls way up pleanty early so we were able to go play outside before getting ready for church.

Throwing a few snowballs

Who needs to scrape snow when you have a dorm full of girls!

Despite the confused look, they really did have fun!

I love these girls!

So precious!

 

Now, I have to admit I am enjoying the beautiful spring weather. Although, wind has taken on a whole new meaning. Nothing like 30+ mph sustained winds! However, the sunshine is beautiful and I love that it's warming up!

I’m terrible at keeping this thing updated. Seriously, I always think I’m going to do better, but no. Yes, life is crazy, but I think it’s important to take time to reflect on it too. So let’s review the last month and a half.

A. Third quarter is done! Grades are done, and parent teacher conferences are Thursday. Hopefully I will have a chance to talk briefly to all the parents of my students! The girls did better this quarter academically and hopefully we continue to make progress this quarter. We’re starting fractions in math, so I’m praying that goes well.

B. On Friday I travelled to Phoenix with the 6th through 8^th graders to go to the Rock and Worship Roadshow. It was fun, although a late night. Watching the kids worship God in a huge crowd was awesome. There were moments when the bus drive home was not so fun (we got back at 3:15 AM), but it was a great experience. You can enjoy this little clip for fun.

C. I’m taking a love and logic class. I missed the training at the beginning of the year, so now we are doing a class for all the new people. My students get to take Navajo twice a week while I am gone, and so it works out well. I’m learning a lot, and attempting to work on applying it as I go. Love and Logic is a really cool program, and I really recommend it to teachers or parents, or pretty much anyone who works with kids. www.loveandlogic.com

D.  I am also taking a smart board training class. 3 hours on a Monday night is a little bit long, but I’m excited about all the things I’m learning. Clueless about smart boards? They are interactive white boards.  They can make learning a lot of fun, but take a bit of prep time, so hopefully as I learn how to use them better it will become easier. www.smarttech.com

E. In the dorm we are back up to 16 girls. We had reached 16 in January, then lost 2, and now have gain two who left at the beginning of October. It’s exciting to have them back, and fun to have a big dorm. The girls are doing fairly well, although periodic sickness plagues us all (ear infections, strep throat, etc.—lots of kids on different medicine at any given time).

F. Today was my first day of teaching music. As the 3^rd/4^th teacher just began teaching an elective for the last 30 minutes of the day, I now have her students. After trying to figure out what to do, it seems that music is one thing I can teach to all the students at the same time. Of course, I still need to figure out what exactly I am teaching them all. (We decided less than 3 hours before I had them exactly what to do, so now I need to do some major planning.) If you have any ideas, please let me know!

G. In February we had a 5 day weekend, which was lovely. I spent two days in Phoenix, which was a lot of fun (and included a lot of shopping!). I also drove through Sedona, which is gorgeous. It was a great relaxing few days, although I did spend 10 hours doing laundry one day to de-lice the dorm.

Spring is here (at least weather wise), and I’m enjoying the new challenges each day brings. Watching these kids grown and learn is such an awesome experience. Some days I wonder if any progress is being made, and other days I see amazing growth. No two days are the same, and I wouldn’t trade any of it. I love begin able to see God work, and know that at the end of the day, it is all in His hands, not mine.

My random thoughts on a Friday night

I want to share a few things, all of which address different passions in my life: education, faith, and kids, particular my students at SVIS.

First, a friend of mine posted this on facebook, and I loved it. It made me think, and made me really evaluate what I think about teaching and learning. That's not to say I agree with everything, or think it will solve the worlds problems, but something to think about. Besides, I think it presents the ideas in a new and different way that kept my attention- always a good thing! (Thanks Tori!)

Second, I have been thinking recently about what it means to be a woman of God. I'm pretty sure there is no box we all fit in, after all I know many women who love and follow God with their whole heart, and they are not all the same. They are all different, which leads me to believe that there is no one path we all must follow. (Not that this is news to anyone, but just has been in my thoughts recently.) But I'd love to hear your thoughts. What does it mean to be a woman of God? How do we as women live passionately for Jesus? What does it look like for you personally?

Third, I had a wonderful moment with one of my girls this week. There is a spot on the board that we right prayer requests. On Tuesday, one of my students asked to write one down. She asked for prayer for the teachers, dorm parents, and staff. Coming from a student who regularly tells me she hate me (which translates to I don't like what you are asking me to do right now) it was really cool to see an acknowledgement of the staff, and know she had a desire to pray for us. How cool is that!

Now, it's Friday night, and I have great ambitions to sleep in tomorrow... all the way till about 7:30 AM!!!! Let's hope the girls all sleep that long, and allow the tired dorm parents a little extra sleep. (I usually wake up about 6:15, so this really is sleeping in!)

A New Year!

I have these great intentions of blogging more often, but some how life gets in the way. The kids have been back a week now, and for the most part, we are back to normal. Of course, 'normal' doesn't really exist, so who knows what we are back to. We did get 6 new kids so far this semester: two 7th graders, and then a 6th, 4th, 3rd, and 2nd grader. This adds 4 new girls to the dorm, which is pretty exciting, bringing us up to 15 total. I'm torn between being sad there are no new 5th graders, and being relieved. I mean a new student would be fun, but a lot of work, and strangely, I don't really need any more of that. These three provide plenty of work themselves. :)

We also have already begun the lice fight this year. Amazing how quick that stuff takes over. Seriously, it never ends! Some day the bug will all be gone. On a cool note though, we got to look at a lice in a  microscope, which was great for the kids! Gross, but great. I mean, have you ever seen a lice in a microscope? That is one gross bug! Especially when you can see the blood in it that came out of someones head.
I'd like to leave you with these lyrics. A friend posted this song on her facebook, and I listened to it today with the kids. I love it, because it is so true. (And no, I am not in great suffering or anything, I just love the message of believing in God's hope, and taking Him at his word.)

Carry Me (written by Audrey Assad and Phillip Larue, sung by Audrey Assad)
Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but

You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe it

Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter 'cause we're all broken
We're all just trying to turn the shadows into light but

You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me

And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide

You say I am blessed because of this
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me

And You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, as I carry this cross
'Cause as I carry this cross, You'll carry me

You'll carry me, God
You'll carry me
And Your love is an ocean wide

ODAA and Christmas

About a year ago, I was serving as an intern in camping ministry. Trying to write a job description is fairly difficult for such a job, as it can and did include just about anything. Besides there is this addition at the end of such a job description that says, "other duties as assigned". There is a very similar clause at the end of my contract here at Sun Valley as well. It seems to be common in ministries. I think it's actually part of our job descriptions as Christians as well. We're called to love others, and all of that, but I feel there is this extra part at the end, which reads "whatever God calls you to do."

It's so easy to want to yell, "but that's not my job", whether at God or an employer. "I didn't sign up for this!" But as a Christian, as a servant of Christ, we are called to do what he want us to do. It's funny, I never set out to go into missions. Oh, I wasn't against it, but I never really felt like that was the purpose of my life. Strangely though, both jobs God has called me to since college have been in ministry and missions. God has put passions in my heart that have led me into ministry. I love it, but it's hard. Regardless of where I work or what I do though, God will always have that clause at the end of my job description. Ministry is not confined to specific jobs or organizations. It's a part of our life as Christians. Maybe it's teaching Sunday school, maybe volunteering at  homeless shelter. Maybe it's as simple as helping someone pick up something they dropped. I think ministry is not what we do, but how we live our lives.

This last week, we began to study Ruth, which is a book I love. The curriculum suggested we sign "It is well" and since it is one of my favorite songs, we did just that. One of the challenges in my life is to learn to be able to say that. Yesterday was a tough day. It was long day, and it was more than slightly stressful and frustrating. Yet, what do I truly have to complain about? Sure, the fact that I work with kids who can be incredibly disrespectful and defiant is not my favorite. And yes, it's been a long day, and I often end up exhausted every night (and all too often mornings as well). But what I am here for anyway? What is my perspective?

As Christmas time is almost here (yay!), I came across these lyrics again the other day. The song is familiar, but it's story add more meaning. It was written during the Civil War by Henry W. Longfellow. The despair in the third stanza is all too familiar, but the hope in the fourth we sometimes forget. God is not dead, and He does still give peace. In the end, God will win, right will prevail, and there will be peace on earth, even if it does not come till the end of the world.

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along th' unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:
'There is no peace on earth, ' I said
'For hate is strong, and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.'

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.'

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Things to be thankful for.

As a teacher I asked my kids to share things they were thankful for, either to a specific person or just a general list. It so easy to skip over this myself, but I am determined to make an effort to list my blessings.  So here goes.

I'm thankful that I know my God. The God who loves me no matter what happens, who listens to me ask the same questions, who holds me in his hands no matter what.

I'm thankful for my parents. They introduced me to this God, and they support me in pursuing my passions, no matter how little it pays. They love me and show me what faith is.

I'm thankful for my brother and sister, and the relationship I have with them. They don't beat me up, physically or emotionally. They are supportive of me.

I'm thankful for this crazy last year. The ups and downs, the good and the bad. The tears and the laughter. The pain and the joy. I'm thankful (at least I'm working on it) for the hard times, where I could not see where God was leading me. Because I know God has led me step by step, and he has brought me through it all. He has never left me. He has brought me to the perfect place for the perfect time. And he does it continually.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to work in a community of believers. I love the support I receive. It's hard as we sometimes have to remember we are all fallen humans, and we don't have it right, but I am blessed to walk with others who serve the same God.

I'm thankful for heat, light and running water. I may have to carry my drinking water, but I can take a shower and wash my dishes by turning on a faucet. Also, I can stay warm when it's freezing cold outside.

I'm thankful for God's amazing creation I see every day. As I now live in a new part of the country, it's amazing to see what variety there is in this world, and how beautiful it all is.  

I'm thankful for a a job and a place to live (they happen to be the same for me). I love working in a place where you can't go a day without needing God (heck, you often can't go 10 minutes). I love working with these kids, no matter how crazy they make me, because they challenge me, and force me to draw closer to God.

I'm thankful for the kids I serve every day. I often forget that my job is not to parent or teach first and foremost, but to serve them and show them Christ. That is so hard to do, and it takes a lot of work. But I'm thankful for the opportunity to serve them.

I'm thankful for friends, the ones I can call at any time, who love me and push me to seek Christ in new and different ways. I'm blessed to know so many people who challenge me to pursue Christ and walk that path with me.

I'm thankful for my grandma, who let me crash at her house countless times last year and continues to store a little bit of my stuff, for the open door she offered. I'm blessed to have family who love me and care for me.

I'm thankful for camp, because I know it has changed my life, and challenged me so much. I'm thankful for leaders who have pushed me. I'm thankful for being able to watch over 100 kids come to know Christ this summer. I'm thankful for the summers and year I spent at Miracle Ranch, and the summer at Arrowhead Lutheran Camp. I'm thankful for the staffs I have worked with and the amazing people I have met.

I'm thankful for Sun Valley Indian School, a place that was never on my radar, that I have come to call home. I'm blessed to work at such a place.

I am above all thankful for Jesus, who died on the cross for my sins that I might have a relationship with him. I all too often take for granted my relationship with Jesus, and forget that there was a big price tag attached to it.

5th Grade- The Adventure Continues

On Monday, I started a brand new adventure: teaching. Not like substituting, but full time teaching: in my own classroom, for the rest of the year. A few weeks ago I was asked to consider taking over the 5th grade class. They had a wonderful teacher, but his passion is high school social studies, not 5th grade with only girls. So on Monday, after a week or so of observing and lesson writing, I took over completely and began teaching.
It's strange, because I did not feel like teaching after I got my degree. In fact, even when I moved here 2 months ago, it was not my intention. Not that I would never teach, but for now, it was not where God was leading me. Well, two month later, and guess where He led me? Straight into a classroom.
So far, it's gone pretty good. I have three girls in my class, and no boys. All three girls are in the dorm too, so I know them already. They are a handful, but lots of fun too. Of course, it does depend on the moment. Some moments they love me, and others they hate me. (Nothing new there.) I am still also a dorm parent, but more of an assistant. I help out in the evenings some, and when I am available otherwise, but lesson planning and figuring out what I'm doing takes quite a bit of time.
God is faithful. He leads you to strange places, but he never leaves you there. I once heard that "the will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot keep you." It's true.

Love them like Jesus

Here in the dorm, we have a night time CD we play to help the girls go to sleep. (There is also a morning one that is kind of like an alarm clock.) One of the songs is "Love them Like Jesus" by Casting Crowns. As I listened to this song the other night, I couldn't help but think of how it relates to me. I mean, how am I to love these girls like Jesus. Obviously I know this is impossible to do fully, but what does it look like for me to try? What does love look like when they are being mean and disrespectful? What does love look like when they are listening well? What about when they disobey? What does disciplining in love look like? When I am tired, how do I show them I love them? When they are still talking an hour after light out, what does love look like?

Here is the chorus to the song:

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

The point of the song is to point people to Jesus in their tough times, and really has little to do with all of my thoughts. But as I struggle to figure out how to love and mother, and at the same time, teach them the right way and discipline them, I wonder what it looks like in God's eyes. Essentially, I am a parent to 12 girls (a slightly overwhelming thought at 23). And as I feel my way around, I constantly need to seek God's wisdom and guidance.

10 Lessons from my summer

I'm a little slow at processing, but better late than never, here are the main lessons of my summer at Miracle Ranch.

1. When everything is set up to go well, be prepared for a surprise. Just because it seems all ready does not mean it will go as planned. You can't plan life, it just doesn't work that way.

2. A team always works better than a staff. Knowing each other, being honest with one another and open communication means great things get done well. Thank you to the leadership team (Darin, Josh, Tori, Karlee, KV, Bruce, and James- you guys made my summer manageable and fun! I miss you all!)

3. The entire staff, and especially all the counselors, were some of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege to work with. I am in awe of you.

4. It's possible to feel as though everything on the outside is perfect, yet feel like the world has come crashing down on you. It's hard to understand when things are going so well yet you feel like life is falling apart.

5. It's hard to be told you're strong, solid and tough when you really just want to curl up in a
corner and cry.

6. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you cannot stop the tears from falling. Occasionally, you just fall apart.

7. God is faithful,, even when all we do is show up. All He asks for is ourselves.

8. The world sucks, and sometimes there is nothing you can do to change it. But believing God is bigger than it all means you can get up the next day and keep going. (Having to reporting suspected child abuse sucks.)

9. Late night youtube videos make the world a better place (or at least keep the leadership staff sane.)

10. God changes lives. He calls people (even children) and they answer Him. 110 children who came through Miracle Ranch excepted Christ for the first time, and 106 more rededicated their life to him. God is good.

Some days...

Have you ever had one of those nights? I was thinking earlier today that I would update this blog tonight after the girls were in bed. I was thinking about some cool things to share, positive stories to relate, and a few funny things too. Then tonight happened. Actually, it was really just the last hour and a half. An hour and a half, and I can think of few positive things to say anymore. I will get to them though, because I am determined that not all will  be negative!

When working with these kids, you get used to a lot of back talk, a lot of disrespect, and a few rude names thrown in your direction. Usually, it doesn't bother me much, but tonight it went a little crazy. To simplify, 5 of our girls went to go run laps at 8:30 at night because they chose to be defiant. Hopefully the message got through, because I could use some sleep tonight. It's really hard sometimes to feel like you get through to anyone. These kids have some of the most amazing mood swings. One minute they are fine, the next the world is out to get them, and you have ruined their life. I greatly admire parents, now more than ever.

Enough of the tough stuff, because that will always be there. Here are a few random things in the last few days that encourage me (or at least keep me from crying most of the time!)

• I'm teaching these kids dum dum ditty. Oh yes, dum dum ditty. If you have never worked at camp, you may have no idea what I am talking about, but if you have you know. Basically it's a simple song with different hand motions/clapping rhythms. They get it, and keep asking to do it again. :)
• I  introduced the shaking out the prayer hands. I know many hate this tradition, but I now know why we do it. It gets everyone focused and quite, at least to start prayer time. (Nearly impossible for everyone to stay that way but they start out on the right note)
• www.freerice.com Best invention ever! Mardell, the administrator, mentioned that vocab is a big things these kids all need to work on, and I remembered this website that quizzes you on vocab. Not only does it make it a game, but they also donate 10 grains of rice for every correct answer, so it's supporting a good cause. It's free too, and has other subjects (including multiplication tables, which are also a struggle).

Well on that note, the CD is wrapping up (one more song), so I am off to bed soon. The other day I came across a verse that helped me keep my perspective. 2 Chronicles 20:15 b says "This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s." While we may fight in the battle, it's God's battle not our own. We simply do our best, and that is all. God is the one who wins it for us. He never asks for more that we can give, and he will never leave us along. God never lets us go, whether through the calm or the storm. I find great peace in that, even as I hear the voices of girls who were supposed to go to bed nearly an hour and a half ago. Because the battle is God's, and he is victorious.

Crumbs...

This summer we talked about Jesus feeding the 5,000, and how we are called to give what we can, no matter how insignificant it might seem. A friend shared that one week all she had was crumbs, but God did amazing things with her crumbs. Today, I feel like all I have is crumbs. Every evening, we attempt to have "family time" with the girls in the dorm before bedtime. This is a time to address any issues, have a devotion and pray. Tonight's family time was challenging at best. Due to teaching, I do not have much of a break, and so I must admit to being tired and weary by 7 PM every evening. Tonight we dealt with a new rule that has been introduced: no dream catchers at school. As you can imagine, it lead into quite a discussion on why "we" hated the Navajos, why we were being racist, why it wasn't fair, what dream catchers do and do not represent. To simplify it all, the decision was made because we do not want students to think that dream catchers can save them, as apparently some students think. As a Christian school, we rely on God, and we are trying to teach the students this concept in everything. On one hand, I understand why this is hard for the students, but on the other hand, I really understand why. Following this whole discussion, the girls went on to complain about their teachers, the school and everything they hate about it. I really can't remember how many girls said they wished they could transfer or leave tonight but I'm pretty sure it was about 7.



Its evenings like this that make it tough. Its days like this that I realize all I have to give these girls is crumbs, and I cling to the fact that God can do great things with my crumbs. Then of course, I have to remember the positive. Tonight I also saw some amazing things. One of the girls was just sitting across from me writing a verse 10 times as a result of being disrespectful while other girls were praying. We play a music CD as bedtime music filled with Christian music. This girl sang along with every song being played. Maybe she doesn't believe in God, but she is singing his praise. I pray those words imprint themselves on her brain so that she will remember them and recall them later in her life. There were hugs tonight too, despite the fact that they claim to hate us. In chapel today, we had a work and witness team (a group here doing a mission trip) and one of their young men sang a song for us. The song he sang was called "I will go" by Starfield. A few of the lyrics were:


I will go, I will go
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I'm clay within your hands
I will go, I will go, send me


One of the third graders sat there singing along with the words. It was so cool to see her agreeing in song, even if she had no idea what she was saying. I prayed with all three 2nd graders tonight. I love their simple prayers that dig straight to the core: Dear God, thank you for today, please help tomorrow go fast, helps us have no bad dreams, amen! I pray they do not leave their simple faith behind, but that it only grows as they get older.


God is working here, in big and small ways. In ways I cannot see, in ways I may never see. But he is here, whether I think I can feel him or not. I once heard a quote, "Be still and know that I am God, not be still and feel that I am God. Because our feelings go up and down and I do not want a God that goes up and down." This is so true. God is here and he is working no matter what I think or feel. He is in my life molding me whether I can feel it or not. And he is using my crumbs no matter how small they may be.

Another week, another challenge

So this last week, we got the joy of facing one of my favorite things: l-i-c-e. I refuse to even say the word anymore! If you have ever searched a head for that L word, you know what I am talking about. You see, my first head searching experience came this summer, and little did I know what a useful skill this would be. Ironically the first time I searched heads, I didn't even know what I was looking for completely, having never seen l-i-c-e before. But I searched heads, and then was able to see it on the one girl who did have it. So last week, on Tuesday, when I heard we had 2 girls with it, I was not so excited. Again though, God came through. You see, we do not currently have a nurse. We have people with medical training, but no one filling that position. However, on the work and witness team (they are the groups that graciously serve us throughout the year, the ones we could not survive without), there was a nurse. I have detected l-i-c-e before, but never treated it. When we finished checking heads to have 5 girls with it, I was so very grateful for someone with experience to help treat heads. That said, I am so done with this stuff! Combing heads for ever, washing them, treating them, etc. is so not my favorite thing. It takes forever! And then there were the 20 loads of laundry we had to do! Needless to say, it made for a long day.

This week, I am teaching 2nd grade. Upon my arrival here, I found out that I am the substitute teacher on call, and this week, our 2nd grade teacher is out due to a death in her family. This means that after about 16 months, I am back in a classroom! It was a lot of fun to teach today, and with only 2 students, it was pretty easy! I'm excited to be doing something a little different, although it does make my days a little longer.

I continue to learn more about the amazing God we serve as I stay here. Just tonight I was blessed by a Bible Study with the other young women here. It's a blessing to be able to spend a little bit of time together, getting to know each other, and learning how to be women of Christ. I'm so thankful I serve a God who knows my needs and never fails to meet them.

God's faithfulness

Sometimes I have to remind myself what a faithful and mighty God I serve. It's so easy for me to get caught up in doing, and so focused on what I am dealing with I forget the world outside of myself. I'm a Martha, always making sure tasks are getting accomplished and forgetting why I am doing them. One of my biggest wake up calls came this summer. In the midst of my worst week, where I cried (which if you know me is a big deal, hasn't happened for like a year and a half) more than once, and felt like I was sitting in the rubble after an earthquake, God did amazing things. 31 campers made first time decision to follow Christ. 31... and another 31 rededicated their life to him! Yet I felt like my world was falling apart.

I think the key word there is "my". Because my world may have been falling apart, but the world is so much bigger than me. God's children struggle all the time, yet people are constantly making the choice to follow him. Just because my week was a struggle in no way affects what God can do. He is a whole lot bigger than me.


This week has started off with tough situations. We had two young boys decide to sneak out and run away last night. We are really close to a freeway, so this is incredibly dangerous. God's provision is amazing though, because someone driving by saw them on the side of the freeway, and called the sheriff who was able to pick them up before anything happened to them. Despite everything, God is our protector. I need to remember that when I get discouraged about the fact that they ran away, or that two of my girls got caught stealing, or the girl who's been crying constantly these last few days. My challenge is to think of what has God done, not what has gone wrong. So that's my question to you. What is God doing in your life? Where have you seen his hand at work?

I'm here!

Well, I have been a little busy recently driving and getting settled, but for now, a quick update! I arrived in Sun Valley, Arizona, my new home last night at about 7:30. I was greeted enthusiastically by 10 girls with hugs and other great excitement. In fact, Janna's (one of the teachers here) mother was here from Hawaii, and she had taught some of the students how to make leis. Two of the kids gave me their leis to welcome me, which was really cool.

To back up a bit, driving for the last two days was exhausting, but good. I have tons of pictures to post, but am way to tired to do any editing or anything, so I will include a few of my favorites as a preview of what is to come. Needless to say, but the time I got here I was really glad to be done driving for a while. Thanks for the prayers!

I had a few wonderful helpers empty my car with me, which was great considering that it was unloaded in about 15 minutes. I mean, it only took me like 2 days to pack! Anyway, I got to know the girls a little, and learned a little about the routine. The girls are amazing, and I am so excited to be a part of this community. I know it will not be easy, that's already clear, but I'm so excited to see God work.

After the girls went to bed, and having a quick chat with Holly, the other dorm parent I'm working with, I did some unpacking. Ok, a lot of unpacking.  The mess was too overwhelming to sleep in, and I had to find sheets. I finally got to bed, and was awakened with a lovely surprise about 4 AM.

Ok, so I've been living in the rainy northwest for the last while, so the sound of rushing water is nearly soothing for me. And it was, until I realised it wasn't rain. My bathroom sink faucet decided the pressure was too much and one of the handles basically broke off, and so there was water rushing in my sink. Most of it went into the sink, but there was a nice lovely puddle on the floor too. So after waking Holly and her husband Bernie up, Bernie graciously helped turn the water off under the sink. (Side note: If I knew there was a knob under there I would have done it myself, but having just moved in, I really didn't want to break anything else.) Nothing like a little fun to wake you up in the middle of the night.

Luckily, the maintenance people here are amazing, and I have a new faucet in my bathroom that works now! The staff have been very welcoming, and I so appreciate them already. These are tough kids. In fact, two of the girls in my dorm stole something from a gas station on their cross country trip today, but that's another story. The point is, these are not your average kids, but everyone here has a huge heart for them. When I met with Mardell, the administrator, today, she shared that no matter what your background, whether reservation schools, teen challenge, or anything else, this job is still challenging in a new and different way. Nothing can compare to it. But she also shared that she has never seen God work quite the way he does here anywhere else. God is amazing, and he is the reason I am here. I'm looking forward to walking through this adventure with him.

Now then, I need to get some sleep, because my 4ish hours from last night are not holding up so well. Thanks for taking time to hear about my journey.

Moving Day 1

So today I embarked on my journey to Arizona. It was a short day of driving, which was nice. I’m spending the night in Kennewick, WA with friends. It has been nice to spend some time with a few good friends before living the area. I will miss them all a lot! Leaving the northwest will be hard mostly for leaving the people. I’ve spent the last few years living here, and call it home. Having been born and spent the first few years of my life in western Washington, and now being back for the last few years, I will miss the familiarity. Leaving is a little bittersweet. I will miss so much of the area, but am ready for a new challenge. Also, knowing that God has so clearly called me to Arizona has made the entire transition a little easier. There is so much freedom in knowing I’m going to be where God has called me. Even though it will not be easy, I’m excited to know I will be where God wants me.

Just a view of my beautiful drive

And now of a random note, the funniest thing I saw while driving was a smart car driving over the Snoqualmie pass. I know they exist in cities, but seeing one travel to the eastern side of the state is pretty darn funny.

Change is in the air...

Change today means a moving for a new job to Arizona. It’s a slightly bigger change than I may be ready for, but here it is. I accepted a position today to be a dorm parent at Sun Valley Indian School, a Christian boarding school for Native American (Navajo) kids. Sun Valley, Arizona is located about an hour and a half east of Flagstaff, in the North east of Arizona.



I’m incredibly excited for this change, but more than a little apprehensive. Moving to a new place where I know no one is a little scary, although it seems to be a theme in my life (moving to college, then two different camps where I knew no one). I’m excited for this opportunity to learn about a different culture and do something a little different. This is a cool job that may eventually lead me back to teaching, but in the mean time it will be a fun adventure.


You may be wondering how in the world I found this place. The simple answer is God. You see, a few years ago an acquaintance of mine mentioned working at this school, and a few months later, I check out the website and booked marked it on my favorites thinking it looked interesting. I found it about 2 weeks ago when trying to not freak out about jobs, and decided to send an email to see if there were any openings. A day later I got an email back, only to learn that they had just had an opening come up the same week. Their school year begins in August, and they started the year with a full staff. The timing is all God, and it’s absolutely clear that he has led me to this school at this time.


That said, I’m moving to Arizona in about a week. (Insert panic attack here) I would appreciate your prayers through this process as I attempt to figure out the timing, sorting/packing and all the pesky details. I would also love to see people before I leave the area, so please let me know if that is possible!


“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

Hey look! An Update!!!

Well, it's been a long time. Which, really, is not unusual. Plus, it's been camp season, which translates to pure craziness all the time, and blogging is last on the list of priorities.

You may wonder how camp has gone this summer. That is a difficult question to answer, so the quick version is this: long, hard, challenging, tears, joy, confusion, frustration, hope, Jesus, exciting, and so much more. Kids have come to know Christ. In fact, so far this summer, with 2 weeks left (ok one, but I don't know the stats from this week) 105 campers in our traditional and day camp programs have made first time decisions to follow Jesus. Another 95 have recommitted their life to Christ.

God is so much bigger than us, and in my worst week, He still moves. It's always good to be reminded that it's not about me, or my feelings, or anything. It's about God, moving in the lives of campers. It's about being faithful to the call God has placed in my life, even when it's the last thing I want to do. It's about putting God first, and trusting he's going to pull me through. It's about trusting Him with everything I have, and everything I don't. Camp teaches me total dependence on Him, again and again and again.

Knowing that one short week, I will again be homeless and jobless is scary beyond belief. Yes, I have a place to go, and I'm very thankful for that, but it's hard to wait and see what God might have next. There are a few things that have popped up recently, but until I know more, I don't really feel like sharing all of that. However, I know God has me. He has awesome plans for me. He will lead me in the next hour, the next day, the next week. When I look back a year from know, I will be able to see all those steps God has brought me through. And though I may not know why, I know he is the one directing my path. He never lets me go. I am blessed to serve a God who never lets me go, and won't lead me astray. I serve a God who empties me only to fill me again, and that's pretty cool.

That said, any job ideas for my life, please, please pass them on. :)

I may have lost my mind...

Bethany ponders... Random, but when I typed the word ponder it looked wrong. Don't you hate that? I mean, I start second guessing myself, and then I can't spell anything right... Sorry, I got distracted there for a second. So anyway, back to the purpose of this thing.... actually, I don't think there is a purpose. Today I spent over an hour looking for a chalkboard. I know, I'm not teaching, why would I need a chalkboard, right? But here at camp, many things become required. The chalkboard in this case is for our signs for the new coffee shop. Speaking of which, I officially made coffee in there today! You have to understand, after watching it be built all year (and getting my hands in there a few times), it's so nice to have it nearly done.

On other topics, summer is coming soon. For those of you who live in a cave, and have no idea what that means, I will officially have no life in just over a month. 18 hour days, meals on the run, and other craziness. Yes, oddly enough, I enjoy this. In fact, I'm looking forward to summer. I think I need therapy!

Oh, and if you thought our blogging was sparse before, get ready for even less! Peace out Brussel sprout!