My random thoughts on a Friday night

I want to share a few things, all of which address different passions in my life: education, faith, and kids, particular my students at SVIS.

First, a friend of mine posted this on facebook, and I loved it. It made me think, and made me really evaluate what I think about teaching and learning. That's not to say I agree with everything, or think it will solve the worlds problems, but something to think about. Besides, I think it presents the ideas in a new and different way that kept my attention- always a good thing! (Thanks Tori!)

Second, I have been thinking recently about what it means to be a woman of God. I'm pretty sure there is no box we all fit in, after all I know many women who love and follow God with their whole heart, and they are not all the same. They are all different, which leads me to believe that there is no one path we all must follow. (Not that this is news to anyone, but just has been in my thoughts recently.) But I'd love to hear your thoughts. What does it mean to be a woman of God? How do we as women live passionately for Jesus? What does it look like for you personally?

Third, I had a wonderful moment with one of my girls this week. There is a spot on the board that we right prayer requests. On Tuesday, one of my students asked to write one down. She asked for prayer for the teachers, dorm parents, and staff. Coming from a student who regularly tells me she hate me (which translates to I don't like what you are asking me to do right now) it was really cool to see an acknowledgement of the staff, and know she had a desire to pray for us. How cool is that!

Now, it's Friday night, and I have great ambitions to sleep in tomorrow... all the way till about 7:30 AM!!!! Let's hope the girls all sleep that long, and allow the tired dorm parents a little extra sleep. (I usually wake up about 6:15, so this really is sleeping in!)

A New Year!

I have these great intentions of blogging more often, but some how life gets in the way. The kids have been back a week now, and for the most part, we are back to normal. Of course, 'normal' doesn't really exist, so who knows what we are back to. We did get 6 new kids so far this semester: two 7th graders, and then a 6th, 4th, 3rd, and 2nd grader. This adds 4 new girls to the dorm, which is pretty exciting, bringing us up to 15 total. I'm torn between being sad there are no new 5th graders, and being relieved. I mean a new student would be fun, but a lot of work, and strangely, I don't really need any more of that. These three provide plenty of work themselves. :)

We also have already begun the lice fight this year. Amazing how quick that stuff takes over. Seriously, it never ends! Some day the bug will all be gone. On a cool note though, we got to look at a lice in a  microscope, which was great for the kids! Gross, but great. I mean, have you ever seen a lice in a microscope? That is one gross bug! Especially when you can see the blood in it that came out of someones head.
I'd like to leave you with these lyrics. A friend posted this song on her facebook, and I listened to it today with the kids. I love it, because it is so true. (And no, I am not in great suffering or anything, I just love the message of believing in God's hope, and taking Him at his word.)

Carry Me (written by Audrey Assad and Phillip Larue, sung by Audrey Assad)
Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but

You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe it

Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter 'cause we're all broken
We're all just trying to turn the shadows into light but

You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me

And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide

You say I am blessed because of this
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me

And You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, as I carry this cross
'Cause as I carry this cross, You'll carry me

You'll carry me, God
You'll carry me
And Your love is an ocean wide

ODAA and Christmas

About a year ago, I was serving as an intern in camping ministry. Trying to write a job description is fairly difficult for such a job, as it can and did include just about anything. Besides there is this addition at the end of such a job description that says, "other duties as assigned". There is a very similar clause at the end of my contract here at Sun Valley as well. It seems to be common in ministries. I think it's actually part of our job descriptions as Christians as well. We're called to love others, and all of that, but I feel there is this extra part at the end, which reads "whatever God calls you to do."

It's so easy to want to yell, "but that's not my job", whether at God or an employer. "I didn't sign up for this!" But as a Christian, as a servant of Christ, we are called to do what he want us to do. It's funny, I never set out to go into missions. Oh, I wasn't against it, but I never really felt like that was the purpose of my life. Strangely though, both jobs God has called me to since college have been in ministry and missions. God has put passions in my heart that have led me into ministry. I love it, but it's hard. Regardless of where I work or what I do though, God will always have that clause at the end of my job description. Ministry is not confined to specific jobs or organizations. It's a part of our life as Christians. Maybe it's teaching Sunday school, maybe volunteering at  homeless shelter. Maybe it's as simple as helping someone pick up something they dropped. I think ministry is not what we do, but how we live our lives.

This last week, we began to study Ruth, which is a book I love. The curriculum suggested we sign "It is well" and since it is one of my favorite songs, we did just that. One of the challenges in my life is to learn to be able to say that. Yesterday was a tough day. It was long day, and it was more than slightly stressful and frustrating. Yet, what do I truly have to complain about? Sure, the fact that I work with kids who can be incredibly disrespectful and defiant is not my favorite. And yes, it's been a long day, and I often end up exhausted every night (and all too often mornings as well). But what I am here for anyway? What is my perspective?

As Christmas time is almost here (yay!), I came across these lyrics again the other day. The song is familiar, but it's story add more meaning. It was written during the Civil War by Henry W. Longfellow. The despair in the third stanza is all too familiar, but the hope in the fourth we sometimes forget. God is not dead, and He does still give peace. In the end, God will win, right will prevail, and there will be peace on earth, even if it does not come till the end of the world.

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along th' unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:
'There is no peace on earth, ' I said
'For hate is strong, and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.'

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.'

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Things to be thankful for.

As a teacher I asked my kids to share things they were thankful for, either to a specific person or just a general list. It so easy to skip over this myself, but I am determined to make an effort to list my blessings.  So here goes.

I'm thankful that I know my God. The God who loves me no matter what happens, who listens to me ask the same questions, who holds me in his hands no matter what.

I'm thankful for my parents. They introduced me to this God, and they support me in pursuing my passions, no matter how little it pays. They love me and show me what faith is.

I'm thankful for my brother and sister, and the relationship I have with them. They don't beat me up, physically or emotionally. They are supportive of me.

I'm thankful for this crazy last year. The ups and downs, the good and the bad. The tears and the laughter. The pain and the joy. I'm thankful (at least I'm working on it) for the hard times, where I could not see where God was leading me. Because I know God has led me step by step, and he has brought me through it all. He has never left me. He has brought me to the perfect place for the perfect time. And he does it continually.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to work in a community of believers. I love the support I receive. It's hard as we sometimes have to remember we are all fallen humans, and we don't have it right, but I am blessed to walk with others who serve the same God.

I'm thankful for heat, light and running water. I may have to carry my drinking water, but I can take a shower and wash my dishes by turning on a faucet. Also, I can stay warm when it's freezing cold outside.

I'm thankful for God's amazing creation I see every day. As I now live in a new part of the country, it's amazing to see what variety there is in this world, and how beautiful it all is.  

I'm thankful for a a job and a place to live (they happen to be the same for me). I love working in a place where you can't go a day without needing God (heck, you often can't go 10 minutes). I love working with these kids, no matter how crazy they make me, because they challenge me, and force me to draw closer to God.

I'm thankful for the kids I serve every day. I often forget that my job is not to parent or teach first and foremost, but to serve them and show them Christ. That is so hard to do, and it takes a lot of work. But I'm thankful for the opportunity to serve them.

I'm thankful for friends, the ones I can call at any time, who love me and push me to seek Christ in new and different ways. I'm blessed to know so many people who challenge me to pursue Christ and walk that path with me.

I'm thankful for my grandma, who let me crash at her house countless times last year and continues to store a little bit of my stuff, for the open door she offered. I'm blessed to have family who love me and care for me.

I'm thankful for camp, because I know it has changed my life, and challenged me so much. I'm thankful for leaders who have pushed me. I'm thankful for being able to watch over 100 kids come to know Christ this summer. I'm thankful for the summers and year I spent at Miracle Ranch, and the summer at Arrowhead Lutheran Camp. I'm thankful for the staffs I have worked with and the amazing people I have met.

I'm thankful for Sun Valley Indian School, a place that was never on my radar, that I have come to call home. I'm blessed to work at such a place.

I am above all thankful for Jesus, who died on the cross for my sins that I might have a relationship with him. I all too often take for granted my relationship with Jesus, and forget that there was a big price tag attached to it.

5th Grade- The Adventure Continues

On Monday, I started a brand new adventure: teaching. Not like substituting, but full time teaching: in my own classroom, for the rest of the year. A few weeks ago I was asked to consider taking over the 5th grade class. They had a wonderful teacher, but his passion is high school social studies, not 5th grade with only girls. So on Monday, after a week or so of observing and lesson writing, I took over completely and began teaching.
It's strange, because I did not feel like teaching after I got my degree. In fact, even when I moved here 2 months ago, it was not my intention. Not that I would never teach, but for now, it was not where God was leading me. Well, two month later, and guess where He led me? Straight into a classroom.
So far, it's gone pretty good. I have three girls in my class, and no boys. All three girls are in the dorm too, so I know them already. They are a handful, but lots of fun too. Of course, it does depend on the moment. Some moments they love me, and others they hate me. (Nothing new there.) I am still also a dorm parent, but more of an assistant. I help out in the evenings some, and when I am available otherwise, but lesson planning and figuring out what I'm doing takes quite a bit of time.
God is faithful. He leads you to strange places, but he never leaves you there. I once heard that "the will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot keep you." It's true.

Love them like Jesus

Here in the dorm, we have a night time CD we play to help the girls go to sleep. (There is also a morning one that is kind of like an alarm clock.) One of the songs is "Love them Like Jesus" by Casting Crowns. As I listened to this song the other night, I couldn't help but think of how it relates to me. I mean, how am I to love these girls like Jesus. Obviously I know this is impossible to do fully, but what does it look like for me to try? What does love look like when they are being mean and disrespectful? What does love look like when they are listening well? What about when they disobey? What does disciplining in love look like? When I am tired, how do I show them I love them? When they are still talking an hour after light out, what does love look like?

Here is the chorus to the song:

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

The point of the song is to point people to Jesus in their tough times, and really has little to do with all of my thoughts. But as I struggle to figure out how to love and mother, and at the same time, teach them the right way and discipline them, I wonder what it looks like in God's eyes. Essentially, I am a parent to 12 girls (a slightly overwhelming thought at 23). And as I feel my way around, I constantly need to seek God's wisdom and guidance.

10 Lessons from my summer

I'm a little slow at processing, but better late than never, here are the main lessons of my summer at Miracle Ranch.

1. When everything is set up to go well, be prepared for a surprise. Just because it seems all ready does not mean it will go as planned. You can't plan life, it just doesn't work that way.

2. A team always works better than a staff. Knowing each other, being honest with one another and open communication means great things get done well. Thank you to the leadership team (Darin, Josh, Tori, Karlee, KV, Bruce, and James- you guys made my summer manageable and fun! I miss you all!)

3. The entire staff, and especially all the counselors, were some of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege to work with. I am in awe of you.

4. It's possible to feel as though everything on the outside is perfect, yet feel like the world has come crashing down on you. It's hard to understand when things are going so well yet you feel like life is falling apart.

5. It's hard to be told you're strong, solid and tough when you really just want to curl up in a
corner and cry.

6. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you cannot stop the tears from falling. Occasionally, you just fall apart.

7. God is faithful,, even when all we do is show up. All He asks for is ourselves.

8. The world sucks, and sometimes there is nothing you can do to change it. But believing God is bigger than it all means you can get up the next day and keep going. (Having to reporting suspected child abuse sucks.)

9. Late night youtube videos make the world a better place (or at least keep the leadership staff sane.)

10. God changes lives. He calls people (even children) and they answer Him. 110 children who came through Miracle Ranch excepted Christ for the first time, and 106 more rededicated their life to him. God is good.